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09/06/07: Wow, another huge gap between updates. I hope this doesn't signal the end like it did for my last site. Anyway, the History essay has been submitted and the Film project is done and dusted. We had an absolute nightmare trying to get people together to film - it didn't help that everyone except for me lived off-campus and commuted in. Did I mention the --one guy-- who works four days a week and is never in lectures or seminars? One wonders how he actually plans to obtain a degree. In hindsight, it's probably a good idea I didn't update part-way through the filming process - I might have been tempted to vent my frustration and ended up embarrassing myself (I did tell the group my website address...). Now I just need a copy for myself (Andrew, if you're reading this, what did you do with the DVD I gave you when you asked if I wanted a copy? The lady at the Publishing Lab seemed to think you left shortly before I returned).
The film actually turned out better than expected, especially the DVD menu and cuts between angles (but then, --I-- did those bits). It certainly wasn't the worst film I saw on presentation day (apparently I missed the worst, promisingly entitled "Ladettes vs. Metros(exuals)") * although there were quite a few better (it seems the larger the group, the better the film - something to bear in mind in future, after our group refused extra members and subsequently had to bribe people picnicking on-campus to fill in for absent actors). I personally felt the worst was the "arts film" submitted by our resident exchange students from Japan - I actually felt sorry for them. First off, they fell into the same trap as us by burning onto rewritable DVDs but unlike us hadn't already burnt a working version, with the result being they had to hook up the plasma screen to the computer as the DVD Player couldn't read their disc. Then they didn't realise the sound wasn't working until a minute or so in (the film was about 5 minutes long). Even then, it was a dreary, dialogue-less, hand-held shakeathon just following the head-in-the-clouds protagonist around campus. From time to time, they would try for a really arty effect by having her fade out of or into the landscape. Now, as most film-makers know, this effect is achieved by setting a tripod up, then crossfading from the section with the character in to the section with the character without, giving the impression (providing nothing else in the background moves) that they are ghosting in and out of reality. Unfortunately, the makers of "Naturalisation" didn't quite seem to grasp this, instead cutting sharply from one hand-held shot to another one without the protagonist on-camera. It looked terrible. Oddly enough, that was the one our talented cameraman Andrew liked best.
I actually managed to obtain a hospital appointment with the specialist about my ear. The good news: I haven't lost any hearing whatsoever (in fact, my hearing is well above the average for people of my age, possibly because I don't go to rock concerts or "club nights" with stupidly loud music). On the downside, he couldn't find ANYTHING wrong (bad because I know there's something wrong - my ear still crackles like a bonfire when people slam doors, etc.), and basically said that since it seems to be a periodic inflammation of the Eustachian tubes (so "periodic", in fact, it started bothering me again almost as soon as I stepped out of the hospital door) he couldn't do anything, and suggested that I should periodically perform the fancifully titled --"Valsalva Maneuver"-- to exercise the tubes. Guess what that means in normal English. Yes, it means holding your nose and popping your ears. Thanks, the crappy doctor at University told me exactly the same thing without even examining me (for the information of the medical profession, I have already been performing the so-called "Valsalva Maneuver" for years as a nervous tic). My enraged father barged back into the hospital and demanded a second opinion. The doctor did give a slightly more scientific explanation, but said that due to time constraints, they couldn't give a proper rationale for their recommended course of action to NHS patients. Well, thanks. Now I can die confused. In other news, the floaters in my right eye are killing me. Still, it could be (and probably will be) worse - put both sides of my family together, and I will almost certainly get glaucoma (unless this is it - not that anyone I've seen, including the optician has even bothered to look in my eyes when I reported --multiplication of floaters-- ), gout, lazy eye, varicose veins, deep vein thrombosis, --restless legs syndrome-- (actually, I reckon I already suffer from that - as a child, it actually hurt to stand still with both feet on the ground for any length of time) and other delightful ailments as I get older.
Putting medical issues aside, I've updated my --Rants-- section again! Nothing new on --Refuted You Bleeps-- , although I've accumulated a shedload more psychotic quotes to put up. What I've got up at the minute was only about 1/5th of my total stash when I formatted it - I've come across more since, although I admit it's becoming a rather self-destructive habit, actively seeking this stuff out just so I can get depressed by it. What I HAVE put up will hopefully keep the punters entertained though: Instead, I've uploaded my infamous --"Content Code"-- , my formal suggestion as to how the film and animation industry should self-censor itself, as well as something old and something new; both refutations of articles by --Kjos Ministries-- (Crossroad.to). The first is something I did for my old website but didn't convert over because I didn't know how well it would gel with my website's new focus. Well, I seem to have settled back into my old ranting habits, so here it is once more (though "Ain't I A Liar" will never re-appear, as I am frankly embarrassed by it). The second is an actual page from Crossroad's site, archived and with my comments scribbled all over it. As well as looking much better than my usual efforts, this technique makes it a lot easier to grab pages and deal out a searing --Fisk-- as well as permitting that pesky --right of reply-- the EU seems determine to force on the Internet.
Anyway, better go. Blessings all round, watch out for the lightning from the East, etc.
* Alarmingly, this wasn't the worst title. The film I thought was best (as in, most technically proficient rather than most morally commendable, since it also contained lesbian scenes, which are distinctly not my cup of tea) was originally to be named "Ménage A Noir", but due to a lack of communication during the editing process ended up with the rather less imaginative "Ménage A Trois". For me, that's up there with Margaret Thatcher's suggested revision to a --pun-- crafted by her speechwriters, which would have read "So my message to Moses is, keep taking the pills" (the original read "tablets").